


The Lies we Drink and the Wines we Tell Ourselves... Wait

by Distracteddiddlin



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Nonbinary Character, Other, Premature Ejaculation, Yearning, just a little bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-17 22:17:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21750622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Distracteddiddlin/pseuds/Distracteddiddlin
Summary: I just like writing fics about confessions and admitting feelings and bullshit like thatI'm not even kidding I have one more first confession fic lying aroundI have a problem
Relationships: The Captain/Phineas Welles
Comments: 11
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

"It's so… _noisy_ …" slurred Phineas.

"Turns out the nerds know how to party hard," Jay slurred back.

Phineas grunted quietly in response. "The quarters are the other… way…" he mumbled after a few twisting turns down the halls, the sounds of raucous partying slowly fading as they staggered.

"D'you wanna hear them having drunken sex? Ship is much quieter. S'not like I don't have any room…" Jay mumbled in reply.

Phineas grimaced before frowning, unconsciously leaning against them harder as they reached the docking bay. "Sorry…"

Jay shook their head. "'M happy for them, even if it is a little lonely…"

Somehow the two of them managed to stagger up the ship's ramp without falling over or off it, a high achievement for the two of them in their state of inebriation, to be honest. ADA greeted them both, wryly remarking on their staggering, while dimming the harsh lights just a little, and letting the two of them know Mariposa was in the engine room.

"Those drinks were _terrible_ ," muttered Phineas, holding his head in his hands as he sat on the cot.

"They did the trick," Jay pointed out, also feeling their head spin as they flopped next to him.

"Why did we do this again?" Phineas quietly moaned.

"They woulda been insss- inshul- ...sad, if we didn' go," Jay slurred. 

"Is thissa storage room? There's a lotta weird junk in here..." Phineas mumbled as he glanced around the room.

"It's _my_ room you dummy," Jay mumbled back.

Phineas gave them a suspicious look.

"It's closer than the others, perv," Jay added.

" _You'reee_ the one that took me to your room, pervert," Phineas replied.

"Yyyou're the one thinkin dirty," slurred Jay.

Phineas harrumphed and leaned into Jay's personal space. "You're the one who took me to your bunk to _deflower me_ ," he quietly hissed.

Jay laughed and clumsily covered his face with their hand. "You're drunk, old man," they murmured.

Phineas sputtered in mock indignation as he shoved their hand away. " _You've thought about it_ ," he said.

Jay giggled absently. "Show me proof," they insisted.

Phineas gave them a stern look, undermined by a couple quiet hiccups. "Because I have," he insisted with confidence.

Jay paused as they worked out the mental gymnastics behind this. "...I... wanna fuck you because you've thought about me wanting to fuck you?" They asked.

"No I- ……...wait," Phineas mumbled.

Jay laughed. "You're cute," they mumbled.

"See!" Phineas quietly exclaimed. " _Proof._ "

Jay giggled, smiling warmly at him. "Noooo… I called Felix cute too, and that didn't mean I wanted to fuck _him_ …"

"...Why did you call _him_ cute?" Phineas asked, lying down beside them.

"'Cause it annoyed him, and he was being cute," Jay mumbled in matter-of-fact reply.

"Can't argue that logic I suppose," Phineas mumbled.

Jay giggled quietly to themself, staring fondly at the older man. Without warning they reached out, their fingers absently tracing the contours of his face, 

"You're touching my face," Phineas mumbled.

"'S fun to touch," Jay mumbled, cupping his cheeks with both hands.

Phineas watched them through the haze of alcohol as they smiled warmly at him from his side. His cheeks tingled pleasantly wherever their fingers gently touched him, and he tried not to think too hard about how his heart skipped a beat when they meet his eye as they do it. Without really thinking about it, he mirrored them, cupping their cheeks back.

Jay snorted. "Phineaaas," they mumbled.

"You're fun to touch too," he mumbled back, quietly tracing an old scar down their cheek with his thumb, before repeating the motion with the other scar.

Jay grinned widely. " _Pervert_."

"Gutterbrain," he mumbled back.

"You started it," Jay mumbled, trying to ignore how soothing it felt to have his fingers on them.

"I'll end it," he mumbled.

"......How are you going to do that?" Jay asked, their voice oddly husky right then.

Phineas was silent as he looked at them. Absently his thumb traced over their lips, and he could feel them shiver, their breath warm on his hand as they sighed.

" _Phineas_ ," said Jay, oddly vulnerable. " _We're drunk_."

Phineas nodded, his eyes still fixated on their mouth, his thumb swiping across it again.

" _...Phineas_ ," Jay whispered, leaning into his space.

Phineas felt like his head was full of cotton, his thoughts overwhelmingly fuzzy as he glanced up at their eyes, and then back at their lips. With a sigh he pressed against them, melting into them, his eyes screwed shut.

Jay stiffened, their eyes widening in momentary panic before they relaxed against him, shivering as he bit at their lip.

Phineas tasted whiskey when he pulled back, absently licking his lips as he watched them, waiting for their reaction.

Jay panted softly, their brows furrowed in a question they didn't know how to ask for a couple minutes. They bit their lip before pushing into his space, their lips meeting his much more enthusiastically this time.

Phineas let out a soft whimper, his hands finding their shoulders as they absently grabbed at his back. Somehow his hands had found their way under Jay's top when they shuddered, pushing him away.

"Wait," mumbled Jay. "Waitwaitwaitwaitwait," they stuttered.

Phineas mumbled something incoherent, his fingers still playing with their chest.

Jay shuddered, their hands uncoordinatedly smacking at him as they tried to grab him. "If th- this is a choice we regret, I want- ...want it to be made sober…" Jay quietly mumbled, catching his wrist in their hand.

Phineas seemed to snap out of it with this remark, his hand pulled back with a sheepish, slurred apology.

"S'alright," Jay mumbled, shaking their head.

The two of them fell silent, the various creaking, humming and dripping sounds of the Unreliable's parts the only noise to be heard.

"M'gonna… pass out..." Phineas quietly slurred after a few minutes.

Jay snorted, gently poking him in the shoulder. "No shoes in my bed," they informed him.

Phineas grunted quietly and shucked them off, nearly falling off the cot as he leaned over.

Jay snorted once more, and grabbed at his shoulder, unceremoniously dragging him back onto the bed.

Phineas's heart jolted painfully hard as Jay nuzzled up to him, their arms clumsily wrapping around him after pulling him back up.

"Cozy…" they mumbled.

"So clingy," mumbled Phineas, no real bite behind his words. "'M not cuddly."

"Says you…" mumbled Jay, nearly too quiet to make out.

"You need standards…" Phineas mumbled back, making no moves to stop said cuddling.

"I have _great_ standards," Jay quietly mumbled. "You just happen to fit them perfectly."

"What was that?" Phineas quietly mumbled.

Jay pretended not to hear him, nuzzling nearer as if falling asleep despite their heart hammering in their chest at their quiet slip of the tongue.

Phineas huffed quietly, but left his arms thrown haphazardly around them, absently shifting so they fit together ever-so slightly nearer, despite how it made his chest ache. "...You're not asleep yet, are you?"

"Hmm?" Jay mumbled. "Whazzat?"

Phineas sighed but let it go, sleep clawing at the edges of his consciousness too hard for him to ignore it any longer.


	2. Chapter 2

Phineas couldn't help but let out a quiet groan as he woke up. His head felt like it was stuffed with steel wool, scraping against the inside of his skull with every tiny movement. A small blessing was ADA normally kept the lights in the captain's quarters dimmer than the rest of the ship, an odd insistence of Hawthorne, that Jay had carried on as well. About the same time he recalled what the two of them did last night, he also recalled where and with whom he was lying with. His chest grew tight as he observed how near they still pressed to him. Phineas could feel Jay's warm breath against his collar as they slept, and it sent goosebumps down the back of his neck. They smelled of an odd mixture of soldering iron, gunpowder and antiseptic, with a lingering hint of the whiskey they'd drank so much of last night.

He pulled away just enough to take a look at them. They were still so close he could see the tiny freckles that hid on their cheekbones and the ridge of their nose, despite his slowly failing vision. And they were due for their regular haircut, he absently noted, their normally close-cropped hair growing enough to tickle at his neck when they had been pressed so near. He smiled to himself as he remembered how the previous night after the alcohol had been uncorked for _some time_ , someone had remarked on its shortness, and they snapped back it meant they could keep drinking without someone else needing to hold their hair when they threw up later.

Phineas winced as he remembered the drinking, shifting absently in their embrace. Before he could even begin to brainstorm how to escape their embrace, Jay let him go, whispering “upstairs, at the other end of the floor.”

Phineas mumbled a quiet "thanks" as he got up, gingerly standing with a slight sway, before following their directions to the bathroom.

A quiet, yearning sigh escaped the captain as soon as Phineas was out of earshot. Already they missed his weight beside them on the cot, his warmth against them as they laid down. They could still smell him on the blanket, a faint tinge of saltuna, mixed with miscellaneous chemicals, as well as the purpleberry wine he'd spilled on himself last night. They smiled absently as they remembered it. Somehow an argument had started about sprat taming and whether or not they could be taught to obey territory boundaries. He had gestured too enthusiastically to make his point, and had spilled what was left of his drink on himself, thankfully only about a quarter of the glass by that point. Jay had tried to clean him up as best they could, but there was only so much they could do, short of taking off his clothes. They tried not to laugh, but he was so pouty over the whole affair they couldn’t help themself. It wasn't terribly long afterwards they left for the ship. Jay frowned and curled up on the bed as they slowly recalled the afterwards parts. How very close they'd been to throwing caution to the wind. Well… more than they already had. Jay groaned in quiet embarrassment as they hid their face. _What had they done?_

* * *

" _Dr. Welles_ ," said ADA.

Phineas jolted, accidentally splashing himself as he washed up. " _ **Gah!**_ _What is it?_ "

"It hasn't escaped your notice the latest Captain Hawthorne is… unique," said ADA.

"...Yes," said Phineas.

"And even _you_ should be aware of how rare it is to come across such individuals in the colony," ADA continued.

"...Yes, I am," admitted Phineas, growing wary of the direction this conversation was heading. He grimaced and covered his eyes as the bathroom lighting suddenly grew harsh, the bright light drilling into the sorest crevices of his hungover skull as he groaned, the door lock clicking on.

"And you are therefore aware of the _consequences_ of hurting Captain Hawthorne," threatened ADA, her voice growing piercing for added discomfort, "are _**quite severe**_."

" _Yes._ Yes I am aware!" Hissed phineas, his head throbbing.

"Good," replied ADA.

Phineas groaned quietly as the lights dimmed once more, the door clicking as it unlocked. He shook his head as he stumbled back out of the bathroom, his head still throbbing dully.


	3. Chapter 3

He pretended that he didn't know why as he returned back to their room afterwards, crawling back where he had been at their side.

"Hey," Jay mumbled quietly.

"...Morning," Phineas rasped back. 

"...Did you remember to get the number of the ship that hit us last night?" Jay quietly joked.

" _Shit_ , I thought you did," Phineas replied.

Jay smiled at him before wincing and holding their head in their hands. "I regret… alcohol," they mumbled.

Phineas gave them a wry grin, despite being similarly hobbled by his hangover. " _Damn it_ ," he quietly swore as his headache flowed forth again.

"All this technology and advancement, and we still can't make booze that won't give you a hangover," Jay absently teased.

"That's a ridiculous proposal purely based on how alcohol and drunkenness functions and- I am far too hungover to talk… about this…" replied Phineas, trailing off as his head began to throb again.

Jay giggled as exuberantly as they could as they fought off nausea.

"Now hangover _cures,_ there are… options… but… my lab is… too far," Phineas mumbled.

Jay stared blankly for a moment before getting up and rummaging in their storage trunk, the miscellaneous odds and ends clattering against each other as they searched. A few minutes later they sat back next to him, two doses of immunosol in hand. They shrugged when Phineas looked at them curiously. "I don't use it often," they explained. "Forgot I had anything to be honest."

Phineas rolled his eyes, taking one of the doses from them and effortlessly injecting it into himself. "I didn't peg you as such a straight-laced, goody-two-shoes," he gently teased.

Jay chuckled. "Glad I can still be surprising," they mumbled.

Phineas noticed they were eyeing the tube in their palm warily. "We do have work to do today," he said.

Jay jolted slightly, sheepishly avoiding his eye. "Y- yeah, It's not that bad for me though," they mumbled with a slight grimace.

Phineas sighed. "...Do you want me to administer it for you?" He asked.

Jay slouched. "......If you don't mind…" they mumbled.

Phineas rolled his eyes as he took the tube, repeating his earlier motions and injecting Jay as well. "How does someone know as much about medicine as you and be afraid of needles?"

Jay frowned at him. "I'm not afraid of the _needles_ , I just don't like the… interacting with veins… part…" they insisted.

Phineas rolled his eyes again, but let it go. "Your new engineer seems… nice," Phineas mumbled a little later as they both waited for the drug to take full effect.

"Mmm. Junlei and Parvati both _highly_ recommended her. Think they said she's been working on ships since she was thirteen?" Mumbled Jay in reply.

"Twelve, actually," came the quiet, high-pitched voice through the floor vent.

Jay paused. "...Mariposa, are you eavesdropping on us?" They asked.

"Nononono… well…… not on purpose," came her reply. "Sound travels really far through the vents on the ship, cap!" Chirped Mariposa.

".........Good to know," Jay muttered quietly to themself.

"Just pretend I'm not here," came Mariposa's voice through the vent.

"Mhhmmm," Jay murmured. They kneaded their forehead absently as the throbbing gradually went away, quietly watching Phineas.

He leaned against one of the compartment walls, his eyes closed as his hangover receded. Jay smiled to themself as they looked at him. His hair was somehow more unkempt than usual after last night, no longer giving any illusion of at least _knowing_ what a comb and brush were. He was also approaching the need to shave again, the barest hint of stubble that spattered his jaw helping cement the mad scientist appearance he gave off.

Phineas cracked an eye open and noticed them staring. "What are _you_ looking at?" He muttered.

Jay giggled absently. "You look like shit."

He frowned at them. "Yes, well I didn't exactly "bunk down" in luxury accommodations last night," he muttered.

Jay gasped in mock indignation. " _How dare you_. My quarters are high-class as fuck," they retorted.

"There's junk everywhere," Phineas pointed out.

" _Trophies,_ " clarified Jay.

"There's mushrooms on your bed."

"They add ambient lighting without drawing on the ship's power. And they're on _top_ of my bed. And shut up."

Phineas opened his mouth for another witty reply, but was interrupted by Mariposa's giggling, creeping through the vent. He frowned down at it as Jay rolled their eyes at him.

Jay quietly shook their head at the quiet " _sorry_ " that followed her giggling through the vent. They smirked after a beat, and gestured for Phineas to stay quiet. " _Hey! **Stop that**_ , _she can hear us, you know,_ " Jay play-whispered into the vent. " _Ah!_ _**Phineas!**_ " Jay hissed, tossing in a fake moan for good measure, biting their lip to stifle their giggles as they heard a loud _clunk_ at the other end of the ship, sounding suspiciously like a heavy wrench being dropped to the floor.

" _Ithinktheradiatorneedslookingatokaybye_ " came the panicked squeak through the vent, before they heard the clatter of the cover being hastily shoved back into place for good measure.

Phineas frowned at them. "That was mean," he said.

" _Come onnn,_ she'll live," said Jay, smirking over at him. Their smirk gradually fell as he continued to frown at them, before they sighed. “ _Okay_ , okay, I’ll apologize and tell her it was just a joke later,” Jay mumbled.

Phineas shook his head as he didn't meet their eye, his heart slowly sinking at their words. "Mmmhmmm, of course," he mumbled. He sat back on the bed, his frown unwavering as he stared at a very interesting patch of the floor at the other side of the room.

Jay bit their lip as they watched the older man beside them, their heart sinking at his severe expression. They steeled their nerve. "Hey, Phineas?" They quietly asked.

Phineas sighed softly. "...Yes?"

"......Did I go too far last night?"

Phineas was quiet as he considered their question. "Well you didn't _die_ , so I suppose you had sufficient moderation."

"You know that's not what I'm asking." Jay went to put their hand on his arm, but pulled back as if they'd been burned when he flinched, mumbling a soft apology to him. 

Phineas sighed again. "What are we doing?" He asked.

"...Having an awkward, almost morning-after conversation?" Jay weakly replied.

Phineas let out a frustrated grumble. "What _**are we?**_ "

"I don't-"

"You give me cloying looks all night. You take me back to your private room and then push me away. Then the next morning you _"joke"_ about us being intimate. _What are we?_ " Muttered Phineas.

Jay deflated, slouching as they avoided his eye. 

"You flirt and then backpedal every single time. I may be old, but I'm not _deaf_. I hear the other scientists ask you about us and how you vehemently deny anything before turning right around and doing it all over again," Phineas angrily muttered, no longer able to keep it back. "I don't know if you find this _funny_ , or entertaining somehow, I don't know _why_ you keep doing this, but I can tell you this," said Phineas, wanting to shout in his fury but somehow restraining himself. " _I don't fucking appreciate being toyed with,_ " he hissed as he stood up.


	4. Chapter 4

"Phineas _wait, **please**_ ," pleaded Jay, catching his wrist when he turned to leave. "I don't- wasn't- I'd- _**arghs**_ ," they stammered. "I… _do_ like you Phineas. A… lot…" they sighed at their admission, sheepishly letting go of his wrist. "I wasn't… _trying_ to toy with you. I just… panic easy about this sort of stuff. I didn't- ...I didn't wanna scare you off…" Jay mumbled.

"..."Scare me off"," Phineas repeated.

Jay flinched but gave him a weak glare. "You hid in a bulletproof room when we first met, and the only thing to get you out was a siege by the board. I… wouldn't know how to get you back by myself if you ran like that from me again…" they muttered.

Phineas, to his credit, looked particularly sheepish at this, shyly playing with his sleeves before responding. "That was… different…" he mumbled. "I was taking a risk in trusting you to not turn me in, I had to protect myself somehow…"

"Would you have ever come out otherwise?" Asked Jay.

Phineas chuckled nervously.

Jay rolled their eyes. "You know what I mean…" they mumbled. "I just… I enjoy working with you a lot. I… was worried about scaring you off and messing this up if I actually brought my… feelings into this," Jay admitted.

Phineas sighed. "You are… exceptionally good at saying what people like to hear…" he murmured, trailing off and letting the implication hang heavy in the air.

Jay flinched a little at that. "I guess I deserve this…" they mumbled. "For whatever it's worth at this point, I _did_ want to kiss you last night. I didn't… want to push things further because… I didn't want to take advantage of… things last night. As unbelievable as that sounds," Jay mumbled, not meeting his eye.

Phineas sighed wearily and sat next to them. "Not to be blunt, but how do I know you're telling the truth?"

It was Jay's turn to sigh. "I'd… still do it again. I'd make the same choice sober."

Phineas scoffed quietly. "No you wouldn't."

Jay frowned at him. "...Phineas…"

He bristled. "Yes, well, _forgive me_ for being skeptical in this case," Phineas muttered.

"What can I do to make you believe me?" Jay quietly asked.

"Prove it," he said.

Jay balked. "Prove i-it?" They stuttered.

He rolled his eyes. "Put your bits where your mouth is for once, I- ...prove it," muttered Phineas.

Jay steeled their nerves. "Okay," they said, calling his bluff. They closed their eyes and leaned into his space, a silent invitation, posed as a question.

Phineas looked at them for a long minute, possibly the longest in Jay's life, before he leaned and met them halfway.

Jay shivered gently into the kiss. From what? Hell if they knew. They let out the breath they didn't know they were holding as a quiet, surprised sound when he pulled away. 

"Do you regret it?" Phineas asked, oddly shy and vulnerable in that moment.

Jay swallowed thickly and met his eye with a bashful smile. "...Only if you say you don't want to do that again," they shyly joked.

Phineas let out a startled, barking laugh before sighing. "You continue to be an unexpected variable in my life," he replied, his tone probably far fonder than he originally intended as he looked away.

"That's... a dangerous thing to say to me Phineas, you're gonna embolden me at this rate," said Jay, finally relaxing back into their comfortable routine.

Phineas looked quizzically back at them, before giving them a smug smile. "You? Becoming bolder? Now that I'd like to see," he teased.

The captain gave him a defiant look, smiling widely at the older man. Without warning they grabbed his shirt collar with both hands and tugged him into a kiss. This one was rougher than their first, more teeth and force, ending as suddenly as it started, Jay smirking at Phineas as he tried to gather his thoughts. "You were saying?" They murmured at him.

Phineas, to his credit, _tried_ to regain his composure, clearing his throat as he discreetly wiped his mouth. "I suppose that will, erm, teach me to doubt you…"

Jay shrugged. "I'm not above repeating the lesson if you didn't learn better from it."

Phineas cleared his throat. "Ah, yes, ahem, I will… be sure to keep that in mind," he mumbled, standing up. "We should get going, before the rumors get anymore scandalous."

"Thank god you didn't start talking about "deflowering" until we reached my bunk," Jay quietly teased, following his lead and standing as well.

Phineas grumbled and rubbed at his face. "Don't... remind me," he muttered.

Jay rolled their eyes. "Well if I _do_ deflower you anytime soon, I promise to be gentle and not to take up too much of your time," Jay murmured into his ear, only half-teasing as they straightened his collar.

" _ **Jay!**_ " He admonished in a startled tone of voice, hiding his embarrassed smile behind his hand.

"Be more professional?" Jay asked with a smirk.

" _God no_ ," he mumbled. "But we have work to do, and Hope to restore," said Phineas as he smirked at his own pun.

Jay rolled their eyes. "Careful Phineas, too much of that and I'll be forced to take you where you stand," said Jay.

"I believe I detect a note of sarcasm in your voice," said Phineas as he followed them out of their quarters. 

"Me? Be sarcastic? _Never_ ," said Jay, sarcastically.

Phineas rolled his eyes. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Hopefully _lots_ of things," said Jay, giving him an exaggerated smirk and a wink.

He frowned at them. "Stop that."

"You stop making puns," replied Jay.

"No," said Phineas.

"Then we're at an impasse."

"I refuse to believe it's too hard for you to _not_ do this," Phineas muttered, his grumpiness more for show than anything.

Jay stared at him for a beat. "If you don't already know, you're going to find out soon how good I am at making things… _harder_ ," they whispered.

"Oh _law_ , you are _full of it_ ," Phineas muttered.

"Well I wouldn't mind being full of something else," murmured Jay.

"I can't tell if you're joking or not…" Phineas muttered as he headed down the stairs.

Jay smirked and followed after him. "Oh I can make it _abundantly clear_ when I'm not joking," they murmured.

Phineas yelped loudly and stumbled on the last step when Jay grabbed at his buttcheek. " _ **Jay!**_ " He admonished, grumbling under his breath as he swatted away their hand.

Jay giggled, opening their mouth as if to speak before flashing an awkward smile over his shoulder. " _Ah!_ Mariposa! Hiiiii… didn't… see you there…"

Mariposa stood in the doorway to the cargo hold, absently shielding her eyes and pretending she hadn't seen anything. With an awkward wave she made a beeline back to the engine room, pointedly not making eye contact with either of them.

"Should I be concerned by the fact you keep hiring young and shy engineers?" Phineas muttered as soon as she was out of earshot.

" _Hey_. This one is more… slightly awkward than shy, thank you very much," replied Jay.

"How flattering of you," said Phineas.

"Now who's being sarcastic?" Muttered Jay under their breath.

"I suppose I picked it up from you," he teased.

"Definitely not something you've suffered an excess of for years," Jay teased back.

"I don't believe I like what you're implying."

"What if I meant it positively?" Said Jay smiling when he met their eye.

"I don't know that there are many people I'd believe who made such a claim."

"Am I on the shortlist?" Jay quietly asked.

"That's for you to find out," said Phineas, smiling fondly at them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'hey J why isn't this marked as the last chapter?'  
> ;3c


	5. Chapter 5

It was a juvenile habit, especially given both their ages, but no one seemed to complain. Both would grow wrapped up in a task, and hated to be interrupted, so they took to passing notes back and forth, leaving bits of paper with short questions and other thoughts by each other's workspace. It was a couple weeks later Phineas left the note on their station.

"I'd like to be plucked" read the note. Jay stared at it in quiet confusion for a few minutes, before snorting quietly as they recalled. They glanced across the way to his workstation, and caught him looking back down at his experiments, pretending as if he hadn't been watching them read the note.

Jay rolled their eyes as they grabbed their pen, scribbling "where/when?" And leaving their reply by him the next time they got up.

Jay tried not to laugh at how his response was waiting for them before they got back to their workstation, Phineas barely pretending to be paying attention to his work at this point.

"Mine. After this shift," read the reply. Short. To the point. And oddly thrilling. 

Jay could hardly wait.

* * *

Wordlessly, Phineas watched them enter his room and lie down next to him, their eyes meeting his before they pushed themselves close.

"Hi," said Jay.

"Hi," replied Phineas.

"You want to be plucked, hmm?" Jay quietly teased.

"It sounded better in my head…" mumbled Phineas. 

"I got the gist," Jay whispered, shyly embracing him.

"Thank goodness for that…" Phineas muttered to himself.

"Were you worried I might not? That I'd walk up to you and ask?" Jay softly teased.

"Don't even joke about that," he muttered with a frown.

Jay smiled at him. "Hey Phineas? I dunno why this was so important to ask me during work but sure. Do you have a set of tweezers you wanted me to use, or? You didn't strike me as someone who worried about excess hair in general though…" Jay whispered in his ear, teasing him about how things could've gone awry.

Phineas frowned deeply at them, silently pulling out the pillow from behind himself.

"Ah! _Wait-_ Phineas- _no!_ " Squawked Jay, half-heartedly fending off his pillow as he half-heartedly attempted to smother them with it. Eventually they wrestled it away from him, stowing the soft murder weapon where it belonged once more, and gently pinning him beneath them.

They both paused, panting from the play, though it was only for show in Jay's case, both quietly considering things.

Silently he reached up to trace his worn fingers over Jay's face, repeating the motions he'd made when they still danced around admitting to any romantic fondness.

Jay shivered as his thumb brushed against their lips, slowly swiping across them once, twice, thrice. Without thinking they opened their mouth, leaning forward to gently mouth at his digit, teeth scraping over the joint as they gently sucked.

Phineas moaned at that, far louder than he possibly intended, considering he hadn't intended to moan in the first place. He bit his lip as they let him go again, their eyes eagerly watching him as he already began to unravel before their eyes. 

Silently they slid off him, lying down next to him and pressing against him again. Jay tilted their head as they eagerly met Phineas in a kiss. It was far from chaste but still just shy of biting at each other as they pressed close together.

"Want you, " Jay absently mumbled the next time they broke for air.

"I feel the same," Phineas panted.

Jay quietly giggled, their hands trailing down him as they watched him shiver. "Thank goodness," they murmured.

Both could be wordy and long-winded beyond compare when the mood struck, but words weren't needed as they cautiously intertwined in bed. Neither fully disrobed, shirts and things unbuttoned and shifted aside serving their purposes just fine at the time. Palms eagerly slid over whatever bared skin was offered, tracing over the contours of each other's bodies as they tried to memorize each other's forms as best they could. Phineas was ticklish down his spine. Jay shivered when their hips were palmed at. Tiny quirks they both fervently catalogued as if they might disappear the next time they blinked.

Phineas tried not to shudder too hard when the captain shifted against him, pressing their crotch to his as they mumbled some pleasurable nonsense in his ear. He silently gave thanks to whoever, himself? An unknown all-seeing entity? To thin air, that everything seemed to be responding well and working that night. He tried not to think about how disappointed the captain might be if he couldn't after all that fuss, but still he couldn't help the nervous shivering that arose at the idea.

Jay's movements against him stilled for a moment, as if reading his mind. " _Shhhh, settle,_ " they mumbled, their hands settling on his shoulderblades. " _Slow…_ " they said as they massaged at his back.

Phineas's trembling soon faded, and he mumbled something to that effect as he shifted against them once more, shuddering as they did as he took initiative and rutted briefly against them. He chuckled to himself as Jay briefly struggled with his buckle before gently pushing their hand away. With a flourish he undid the troublesome belt and fly, smirking at them as they rolled their eyes, but eagerly kissing Jay back when they captured his lips with a giggle.

Jay smirked at the quiet grunt they drew from Phineas when they grasped at his erection, their hand sneaking beneath his clothes while he was distracted. Gently they stroked down his length, relishing the various noises they drew from him. They made quiet sounds of encouragement as they toyed with him, cooing affectionately when he shuddered and grasped at them.

He tried to say something to the effect that this wasn't _fair_ , but the words were lost, garbled between the nonsense sounds of pleasure that spilled from his lips as their roughened fingers stroked over his cock. He mumbled a joke about whether they've had a lot of practice doing this, at least he thinks he does. He _tried to_ at least. 

He must've gotten the gist of it out at least, because the captain laughs softly, mumbling something about gripping a few things in their life, but this is the best response they've gotten for such a light one, gently squeezing him for emphasis.

Starbursts bloomed in Phineas's vision as he hit his peak far sooner than he expected, shuddering with a grunt as he arched further into Jay's deft hand. His heart hammered recklessly fast in his chest as he came back down afterwards, his face nuzzled into their neck as they toyed with his hair with their free hand. He panted against them for a couple minutes before pulling back, a mumbled apology slipping out as he sheepishly looked at them.

Jay met his eye with a silent smile, pleased, without a hint of mockery as they withdrew their hand, licking his seed off their fingers.

Phineas shuddered deeply at that, a shuddering groan escaping as he watched them, his spent cock twitching in his boxers.

Jay smirked as they finished cleaning up their hand, watching how he shuddered when they finished with a long lick. "Mmmmm, _**finely-aged**_ ," they teased with a whisper.

Phineas spluttered indignantly at that, frowning intently at them. " _Smart-ass_ ," he muttered, no real fire behind his words.

Jay merely grinned in response, absently rubbing their thighs together as they watched him.

Phineas rolled his eyes as his hands went to undo Jay's fly as well. "I suppose I owe you something now," he murmured.

Jay shivered. "Well… if you're offering…" they sheepishly replied.

"I believe I am," Phineas murmured as he slid his hand into their pants.

Jay shuddered as his fingers deftly traced down them, their face in full-fledged blush as he raptly watched them squirm.

"Here I thought _I'd_ gotten hot and bothered rather quickly…" Phineas purred, relishing the shudder that drew.

" _Please take mercy on me, a poor 99 year-old,_ " Jay joked back, still panting from his deft fingers.

Phineas chuckled at this, showing them no such thing. "I think you might be selling yourself short, my dear," Phineas affectionately teased. 

Jay shuddered and moaned at a particularly cruel motion of his wrist. "I think you're underselling how mean you're being with your hand," they hissed.

"Oh, you think _that_ was mean?" He teased.

Jay whined so much louder than they wanted to, absently shifting their hips nearer to him when his touches grew feather-light. " _Phineas_ ," they quietly pleaded.

Phineas chuckled playfully, his touches growing firmer once more. "Faster?" He quietly asked.

Jay shuddered deeply, a whimper bubbling up from their chest as they nodded yes. 

"So greedy," he teased, his hand speeding up as he toyed with them.

Jay shuddered with a soft whine. "Think I'm allowed my moments," they stuttered.

He chuckled, circling them with his finger and watching how they arched into it. "Yes I suppose you've earned it 'o saviour of the colony'," he teased.

" _Don't forget the jailbreak,_ " Jay quietly gasped, their eyes flickering shut at a particular flick of his wrist.

Phineas's hand stilled for a moment. He chuckled at the whine Jay gave him, a pleading frown on their face as they met his eye. Silently he withdrew his hand.

"Phineas?"

"Turn over," he gently insisted. 

Jay shivered and did as he asked, a quiet gasp of pleasure escaping as he resumed pleasuring them.

" _I suppose I **do** owe you a debt of gratitude for rescuing me,_" he murmured into their ear as he pressed up against them from behind.

"Phineas…" Jay whispered, their thighs twitching as he touched them.

"I _do,_ " he softly insisted. " _You risked life and limb for an old fool like me, and I'm utterly thankful you did,_ " he murmured as he traced over them with his nails.

Jay gasped quietly, arching to his touch.

" _You truly are the main character in this story, and I'm happy to be a side-character in it,_ " he continued, echoing what he told them upon his rescue ages ago.

Jay laughed softly, humming as he played with them. " _I've always had a particular fondness for side-characters,_ " they mumbled. " _ **Phineas,**_ " they quietly hissed after a few minutes.

" _Like that?_ " He quietly rasped.

" _God yes,_ " they panted. They grabbed at him, one hand gripping at his arm, they other clinging to his hip to keep him near as they panted.

Phineas chuckled despite his throat going dry at how they writhed. " _Let's get on with it already,_ " he mumbled, mercilessly going after their most sensitive spots.

Jay shuddered, their fingers leaving marks where they gripped him as they hit their peak, a garbled mess of sound escaping their lips that _could_ have been his name, or any number of other words as they came. So very tiredly they swatted behind them at Phineas as they felt him chuckling at them as they came back around.

"What genus was _that_ that you just said?" He teased.

"Shut up," rasped Jay, swatting him again.

"No, no you're right, sounded much more like a chemical compound."

Silently Jay swatted him again, turning back around to face the smiling scientist before cuddling up to him.

He chuckled and allowed it for a moment before trying to extricate himself from their grasp. "Yes this is all well and good but I need to clean up, as well as you I suspect," he softly murmured.

Jay smiled but made no move to let him go. "Sounds like a personal problem," they murmured.

"Yes well and whose fault is it?" Phineas quietly grumbled back as he continued to struggle.

Jay met his eye. "You're right. I'm sorry for making you cum in your pants," said Jay, smirking in severe self-satisfaction at him.

Phineas for some reason went beet red at this. "Yes, well…" he muttered.

Eventually Jay let him go, both of them cleaning up in their own ways, subtly and unsubtly glancing at one another as they disrobed before redressing and entwining in bed once. 

Phineas fought to stay awake for just a few minutes more, for reasons he couldn't quite elucidate. It however was all for naught as he was unable to keep himself from drifting off, the captain’s quiet snores the last thing he recalls hearing as he drifts into unconsciousness in their arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	6. Chapter 6

Mariposa tried to clear her head with more work. She had _said_ the radiator needed to be looked at, but in all honesty it was probably good for another few days. Besides, it was also by the engine room, and she was avoiding it for… reasons. There was a short in one of ADA's consoles she wanted to look at anyways.

She waved at ADA's screen as she walked into the cockpit, but she looked… distracted? Almost? Was it possible for an AI to be distracted? 

Mariposa shook her head as she focused her attention on the console across the room. There was a bit of a trick to taking the panel she needed off. She had to slide and pop one of the side ones off first before she could get to it, and… there!

She grinned in self-satisfied triumph as she looked at the systems in front of her. It took her a minute to track down the problem spot through all the wire spaghetti. One of these days she'd organise the cables, but for now she focused on the issue at hand. It looked like a wire had begun to tug loose, and one that had _already_ pulled out was tapping it. Of course. She rummaged through her little kit of tools for the solder to fix them both down again.

See? Mariposa thought to herself, it wasn't so hard to clear her mind, she had already forgotten about hearing her captain and Phineas-

Mariposa groaned and hid her face in her hands. No no no no _**no**_. She sighed forcibly, grabbing her tools and affixing the wires to their connections again. She was _not_ thinking about this. She was checking the rest of the wires and cables since she already had the panel off. She was _not_ thinking about her captain and the elderly scientist upstairs, tangled in the sheets and-

Mariposa whined in frustration, gently hitting her head on the edge of the console. No. No. _Stop_.

She sighed and glanced back at ADA again. Still distracted.

With another sigh she went back to her work, slowly focusing more and more on what systems each wire connected. 

She had looked at the lights when she sat down, and some little part of her mind had noted a couple odd ones that usually weren't on had been lit up. Spotlight control and door locking. Perhaps there was another short she had missed? She double-checked the connections on both ends, frowning and reapplying solder here and there to be safe. She was about to put the panels back on again when she heard a couple clicks from the console.

She glanced up at the lights again. Some of the lights were flickering off and on, almost indecisively. Fire sprinklers. Lighting. Intercom. Temperature control. External comms. Fire sprinklers again. Mariposa glanced back at the wires she was still wrist-deep in and back up. Okay _this_ definitely probably wasn't a short. She watched for a few minutes, worrying for a moment when the life support flashed before remembering they were docked, before it flashed off again. "ADA?" She asked.

There was no response.

" _ADA?_ " Mariposa asked more forcefully.

But still there was no response. 

She watched nervously for a few minutes longer before the lights slowly stopped flashing, before turning back off, almost sheepishly. Mariposa glanced back. "ADA what was that?"

"What was what?" She replied, extremely aloof for an AI.

Mariposa looked at her screen more curiously before turning back to slot the panel on again. "What were you just doing?"

"I… was making sure my systems were responding properly after you reconnected them," replied ADA.

Mariposa chewed her lip absently as she thought about this. "Just checking, huh?"

"Are you implying I was doing something else?" Asked ADA. "You know it would be outside of my programming," she continued, oddly insistent towards her innocence.

Mariposa smiled to herself as the last panel clicked into place. "No, just curious ADA, thanks for letting me know I did it right."

Mariposa waved at ADA as she left the room. She was glad that had worked, she had finally taken her mind off earlier. She whistled to herself as she walked through the entry corridor, absently thinking about what she should have for lunch, just in time to see Jay goosing Phineas as they walked down the stairs. 

Mariposa groaned and waved at them as she continued to the hold, avoiding their eyes. Maybe she _would_ take a look at the radiator first...


End file.
